Hema Malini’s “Tell Me O Kkhuda” (2011) - Tell me kyun khuda?

When Hema Malini announced that she is going to re-launch her daughter, it was tented to be a magnum opus vehicle, but there were just 3 things that I was sure what that film won't have:
1. Esha Deol's old childish acting
2. Esha Deol crying; and

3. Esha Deol's real parents playing her reel parents.

But well voila! As luck would have it, the last one was actually there in the film. Yes the film had both Dharmendar and Hema in it. And well voila! Again it had the first two as well.

I took my chances with the film with quite some interest mainly due to two reasons; one because of the magnificent stars it boosted of as its cast and two because it was Hema Malini's directorial venture.
There was a magnificent array of stars casted indeed but what I found to be, far too predictable characters and roles. And sensitive subjects were taken up in the plot but their handling showed an immaturity of mind and time.

TMOK is reminiscent of Hema Malini’s debut directorial venture ‘Dil Aashna Hai’, similar central story, somewhat similar characters, and well same upper-handed take on feminism. The movie is filled with predictable story lines and immature handling of a sensitive subject.

The only difference is that there the protagonist searched for her biological mother, in particular, and here the protagonist went out looking for her biological father. Also I believe Divya Bharati was really a good actor of her time. Comparing that to anything that Esha Deol did on screen in TMOK is no less of a shame for the film.

At least after you know about ‘Dil Aashna Hai’ you feel relaxed that as to why throughout you felt the film’s story line to be outdated and something hurriedly rehashed.

So the story is about young author Tanya, she is hip modern and a girl who lives her life on her own terms; yet at the same time she is still grounded, a loving daughter and a great friend. But Tanya’s world comes collapsing all at once, when she gets to know that she is an adopted child; and so begins her search for her real parents. All she has as a start is a hospital bracelet that has just a visible letter ‘A’ on it. Her quest leads her to Rajasthan to Abhay Pratap Singh (Vinod Khanna), to Turkey to meet Altaf Zardari (Rishi Kapoor); and finally to Goa to meet Anthony/Tony Costelo (Dharmendar). In tow are her best friends Kuki (Chandan Roy Sanyal), and boyfriend Jai (Arjan Bajwa).

Now the deal with the story I would say is that how a girl who is a young writer, with a great deal of passion for life and a strong head on her shoulder; suddenly falls totally downwards once she gets to know that she is adopted. And the journey that was should have been an emotional one just became about a girl and her friends going on extensive vacations/ adventures.

Another thing is how is it that if the hospital records shows Dharmendar’s screen name as ‘Tony Costelo’ then how come the bracelet on the baby wrist as letter ‘A’ in it. Does the Hospital staff assume by itself that ‘Tony’ is always short for ‘Anthony’?

Another point is that story becomes far too predictable for me at the time when I realize that there is a slight scope of the girl achieving a happy ending even before the first half ends. When does that ever happen in our typical Indian Bollywood films?

I think the director and producer’s main concern was just one; the film’s supposed to be a Deol re-launcher, so let’s forget everything and just makes sure there is no frame left without her being present there. There is no space for audience to miss her even a bit, at lest I believe separation makes you grow fonder, but this movie proves me all wrong there. Esha Deol’s earlier absence from film industry made no one fonder, but yes her come-back did make everyone sure that there are something’s you can never mend. And yes, also that at times parent’s are ready to do anything for their kids, even though it might be spend their money and time on some tasteless talented offspring, and demeaning their own self and close friends for the sake of same.

You ask me why I’m so overtly irritated by this film.

1. the most basic response-waste of my money and time
2. the waste of good supporting cast, that was over all definitely much better than the one who got all the screen time and space.
3. Talented parents have given birth to such an amateurish offspring and then they are ready to support her even though they too very well know that it is all a waste in the end.
4. The film is just a proof of what extend parents are ready to go to  support their most wasteful progeny, which irritates me, especially if I earlier in the day get a lecture from my parents about my recent credit card bills and shopping expenses.

What irritates me even more Dharmendar’s excessive hamming as the Don Tony Costelo, and listening to Esha Deol as the narrator (I’m telling you there was no escape from her face and sound in this film).

Well other than the star cast and all, even the music and songs of the film are quite. There is no song that catches your attention, both in terms of listening and vision. I just felt that there was just one love track being dragged all throughout, vaguely and weirdly in between at random times.

The story has too many flaws. Not only does it reek of being a rehashed version of ‘Dil Aashna Hai’ and ‘Mamma Mia’, but it is also about loosely integrating unnecessary social issue all in one, just for the heck of it.

So all in all I would rate the film as 1.5 out of 5. One mark for the supporting cast, and seeing Vinod Khanna, Rishi Kapoor, and Dharmendar all together once again in one frame. And rest of the marks for the loving and doting parents, wish mine could learn something from them, and please let me say I’m definitely more talented in my own field that than chick in the film.  

Tell Me O Kkhuda (2011)

Director: Hema Malini & Mayur Puri

Starring: Esha Deol (rest is all the cast that shouldn’t be mentioned in the same line as of her, I believe)

Producer: Hema Malini

Writer: Hema Malini & Mayur Puri

Music Director: Pritam

Bad Teacher (2011): It is bad but fails to be good in that.

Bad Teacher is a Bad movie about a teacher who is Bad...... that is it. That's the whole plot and review.

Well yes that is pretty much what I felt, after I finished watching the movie and sitting down to write the review. That was the only line that flowed best on the page. But well allow me to dwell further.

Elizabeth Halsey, played by Cameron Diaz, is a Chicago middle school teacher at the John Adams Middle School who curses at her students, consumes lots of alcohol, smokes marijuana, and only shows movies while she sleeps through class.

When the movie starts she is shown quitting her teaching job so as to get married to a wealthy fool and enjoy a carefree life of luxury. But when in a movie, have you ever seen any ‘happily ever after' in the beginning. The wedding fails to materialize and Elizabeth is back at her old teaching job and teaching methods.

At the school Diaz meets Scott Delacorte, played by Justin Timberlake, a new substitute teacher who is also an heir to a multi-dollar watch empire. In him, she sees her old dreams of marrying rich and luxurious life begin to rekindle. But this time she is not alone. Competing with her at the school, in teaching and in love, is another teacher Amy Squirrel (Lucy Punch), who is as irritating for the staff as for the students.

What follows is an ugly battle of competition between the two teachers to gain the attention of the rich heir, who believes in simulated sex with clothes on as a way to search ones true mate.

The ugliness is further fueled by the rich prince charming's fantasy for big boobs, or so Elizabeth seems to believe is the only reason he overlooks her and chooses Ms. Squirrel. And so begins her journey to get money for breast implants and series of raunchy jokes and gags.

This is a movie about good v/s evil, but surprisingly I didn't find myself picking any side. For if evil is represented by Diaz and her drugging and movie screening ways of teaching; the good side is equally appalling by screechy, irritating Squirrel; whimpering Timberlake; and a lovesick underdog like the Basketball Coach, Russell Gettis (Jason Segel), who makes every possible attempt to make his feelings loud and clear for Elizabeth all to get his advances rejected.

I think it was the supporting cast that did the only good job in the film, while rest were just put to the place where they fitted the best. Diaz is used to act sexy and put an edge in all the raunchy jokes. Timberlake is used as a man piece for girls, but he is totally damp and a waste for any screen time whatsoever given to him in the film. Jason Segel’s act, as the underdog puppy eyed loser basketball coach, I would say is good casting as that clearly goes with his characters from his earlier films such as Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
And Ms irritating Squirrel is well cast as she irritates the crap out of u with her excessive goody good two shoes act and irritating dialogue delivery.

I think the only place in the plot or script where the film works a bit for me was the place when Diaz is fighting tooth n nail to get the money for her boob job. And esp. the part where she cons the state examiner to get the test papers from him, and how she claws her way out of d whole allegation later. I really enjoyed that part, as that was the only part that kept me engaged in watching the film.

This film is the classic case of good, bad and ugly. Nothing is good, every one is equally bad, and Timberlake acts ugly.

Other than that the film is pretty predictable as you always know that in the end anti- heroine will turn into a heroine. You know she will revise her old ways and the underdog love stuck puppy would win her with his goodness.

Out of 5 I would rate the movie as 1n1/2. All the marks, just for all d raunchy jokes and the only part of the plot that managed to make me laugh. What I expected was a shocking movie; I got that but not totally in a positive sense. I thought the film did have a promising concept and I did enjoy the brazen performance by Cameron Diaz, as she did manage to keep me engaged in the scenes where action was lacking. But still the overall after taste of the movie was as if it lacked not something but almost everything that I expected.

In the recent Teen Choice Movie Awards the movie did won quite a few accolades for itself, such as Choice Movie- Comedy, Choice Movie Actor- Comedy for Timberlake and Choice Movie Actress- Comedy for Diaz. I just agree with the last category for winning, but then ‘to each his own’. Nonetheless I would say my usual line that ‘do watch it once’ because no matter how good or bad a film is every audience member should make their own opinions.

Bad Teacher (2011)

Director: Jake Kasden

Starring: Cameron Diaz, Justin Timberlake, Jason Segal, Lucy Punch

Producer: Jimmy Miller, David Householter

Writer: Lee Eisenberg, Gene Stupnitsky

Cinematographer: Alar Kivilo

Editor: Tara Timpone

Running Time: 92 minutes

Favorite Scene: the car wash scene, and the whole episode where she seduces the state examiner and gets the tests and the whole cover up.....