Hema Malini’s “Tell Me O Kkhuda” (2011) - Tell me kyun khuda?

When Hema Malini announced that she is going to re-launch her daughter, it was tented to be a magnum opus vehicle, but there were just 3 things that I was sure what that film won't have:
1. Esha Deol's old childish acting
2. Esha Deol crying; and

3. Esha Deol's real parents playing her reel parents.

But well voila! As luck would have it, the last one was actually there in the film. Yes the film had both Dharmendar and Hema in it. And well voila! Again it had the first two as well.

I took my chances with the film with quite some interest mainly due to two reasons; one because of the magnificent stars it boosted of as its cast and two because it was Hema Malini's directorial venture.
There was a magnificent array of stars casted indeed but what I found to be, far too predictable characters and roles. And sensitive subjects were taken up in the plot but their handling showed an immaturity of mind and time.

TMOK is reminiscent of Hema Malini’s debut directorial venture ‘Dil Aashna Hai’, similar central story, somewhat similar characters, and well same upper-handed take on feminism. The movie is filled with predictable story lines and immature handling of a sensitive subject.

The only difference is that there the protagonist searched for her biological mother, in particular, and here the protagonist went out looking for her biological father. Also I believe Divya Bharati was really a good actor of her time. Comparing that to anything that Esha Deol did on screen in TMOK is no less of a shame for the film.

At least after you know about ‘Dil Aashna Hai’ you feel relaxed that as to why throughout you felt the film’s story line to be outdated and something hurriedly rehashed.

So the story is about young author Tanya, she is hip modern and a girl who lives her life on her own terms; yet at the same time she is still grounded, a loving daughter and a great friend. But Tanya’s world comes collapsing all at once, when she gets to know that she is an adopted child; and so begins her search for her real parents. All she has as a start is a hospital bracelet that has just a visible letter ‘A’ on it. Her quest leads her to Rajasthan to Abhay Pratap Singh (Vinod Khanna), to Turkey to meet Altaf Zardari (Rishi Kapoor); and finally to Goa to meet Anthony/Tony Costelo (Dharmendar). In tow are her best friends Kuki (Chandan Roy Sanyal), and boyfriend Jai (Arjan Bajwa).

Now the deal with the story I would say is that how a girl who is a young writer, with a great deal of passion for life and a strong head on her shoulder; suddenly falls totally downwards once she gets to know that she is adopted. And the journey that was should have been an emotional one just became about a girl and her friends going on extensive vacations/ adventures.

Another thing is how is it that if the hospital records shows Dharmendar’s screen name as ‘Tony Costelo’ then how come the bracelet on the baby wrist as letter ‘A’ in it. Does the Hospital staff assume by itself that ‘Tony’ is always short for ‘Anthony’?

Another point is that story becomes far too predictable for me at the time when I realize that there is a slight scope of the girl achieving a happy ending even before the first half ends. When does that ever happen in our typical Indian Bollywood films?

I think the director and producer’s main concern was just one; the film’s supposed to be a Deol re-launcher, so let’s forget everything and just makes sure there is no frame left without her being present there. There is no space for audience to miss her even a bit, at lest I believe separation makes you grow fonder, but this movie proves me all wrong there. Esha Deol’s earlier absence from film industry made no one fonder, but yes her come-back did make everyone sure that there are something’s you can never mend. And yes, also that at times parent’s are ready to do anything for their kids, even though it might be spend their money and time on some tasteless talented offspring, and demeaning their own self and close friends for the sake of same.

You ask me why I’m so overtly irritated by this film.

1. the most basic response-waste of my money and time
2. the waste of good supporting cast, that was over all definitely much better than the one who got all the screen time and space.
3. Talented parents have given birth to such an amateurish offspring and then they are ready to support her even though they too very well know that it is all a waste in the end.
4. The film is just a proof of what extend parents are ready to go to  support their most wasteful progeny, which irritates me, especially if I earlier in the day get a lecture from my parents about my recent credit card bills and shopping expenses.

What irritates me even more Dharmendar’s excessive hamming as the Don Tony Costelo, and listening to Esha Deol as the narrator (I’m telling you there was no escape from her face and sound in this film).

Well other than the star cast and all, even the music and songs of the film are quite. There is no song that catches your attention, both in terms of listening and vision. I just felt that there was just one love track being dragged all throughout, vaguely and weirdly in between at random times.

The story has too many flaws. Not only does it reek of being a rehashed version of ‘Dil Aashna Hai’ and ‘Mamma Mia’, but it is also about loosely integrating unnecessary social issue all in one, just for the heck of it.

So all in all I would rate the film as 1.5 out of 5. One mark for the supporting cast, and seeing Vinod Khanna, Rishi Kapoor, and Dharmendar all together once again in one frame. And rest of the marks for the loving and doting parents, wish mine could learn something from them, and please let me say I’m definitely more talented in my own field that than chick in the film.  

Tell Me O Kkhuda (2011)

Director: Hema Malini & Mayur Puri

Starring: Esha Deol (rest is all the cast that shouldn’t be mentioned in the same line as of her, I believe)

Producer: Hema Malini

Writer: Hema Malini & Mayur Puri

Music Director: Pritam

No One Killed Jessica (2011): A strong women-centric subject and performances

No One Killed Jessica (Nokj) is a strong women centric commercial Bollywood film. For long I have held a soft spot for Rani Mukherjee and Vidya Balan in my heart when it comes to Bollywood actresses. They are so much different than other plastic faced Barbie-look alike size zero heroines. These 2 actresses seem so comfortable in their skins and different roles. But their recent career decisions and movie choices had shaken up that opinion a lot. It had made me feel that their acting talent too had succumbed to the money making commercial Bollywood masala films. Vidya Balan proved me wrong in Ishqiya but Rani was no where to be found still. But then NOKJ came along and my faith in both d stars as actresses was reaffirmed.

The film is based on the sensitive issue and news of Jessica Lal murder case. Vidya Balan essays the role of Sabrina Lal, Jessica's sister who fights till her last strand of strength to get justice for her sister and to see her murderers behind bars.

Rani Mukherjee plays the role of journalist Meera, who is hard core and crude. Meera refuses to pick the news story of Jessica Lal’s murder as she feels it is an open and shut case and justice will soon be delivered to the Lal family. But still when court after court and session after session it becomes apparent that justice is not just being delayed but also being denied, that is what jolts Meera out of her peaceful belief in the legal system of the country.

She then does everything in her power and with the power of the country’s 4th estate, media, behind her; she is in fact able to garner a large public movement in support of the reopening of Jessica's murder case and see to it that the justice is indeed served.

It is after a long time you see such powerful women protagonist at the forefront of a Bollywood film. Bollywood films are usually driven by male characters; well that is what has been happening in last few decades. NOKJ brings to forefront that it is not the gender of actors that is to be blamed for their stereotypical viewing in cinema. It is rather d characters that are written in a script by the writers; and offered to them by directors and producers.

NOKJ is a powerful and emotional crime-thriller based on a real life situation and most of the characters have drawn inspiration from those real life situations that surrounded the event. But one problem I found was in the pace of the film. For such a lengthy film the pace of the plot fluctuated a lot from too slow to too fast. And yes at times Rani does become too loud, but that fits well with her character as well, I guess.

The film has a lot of subtle and not-so-subtle symbols. Like the scene when Sabrina is walking on the road consumed by her mental thoughts she doesn’t see the approaching elephant. And the smart integrations of Rang De Basanti in the plot, which actually acted as a catalyst in lending a spark of fresh activism in the Jessica Lal murder case.

The film went on to be a huge hit at the box office and was able to garner positive reviews as well, and that most of it was due to the leading ladies of the film. The magic that these talented actresses exude on screen is very captivating. Also the way the narration takes an active turn with number of symbols and a steady movement between past and present.

The film is a sensitive handling of a delicate and controversial issue. It is an exploration of a person's struggle for justice against a corrupt power lobby system. It is a true story, about Sabrina Lal and her struggle for justice for her sister Jessica Lal, who was murder by son of a powerful minister. And what follows is a story of justice being denied at the hands of corrupt officials, sold out witnesses, and well plain simple delay in the country's legal system.

Vidya Balan plays the sensitive soft yet strong character of Sabrina Lal who fights to her last strand of courage to get justice to her sister's murder. And then there is the hard brash and muhfat character of journalist Meera Gaity, played by Rani Mukherjee. Rani did actually go on to win Dadasaheb Phalke Award for her role in the film later on.
Two different women but both want to fight for same thing Justice. One wants to get justice for her dead sister while other wants justice from a dead system.

Even the performance of side characters is quite exemplary. Every actor in the film carried out their roles well be it Rajesh Sharma in the serious role of the inspector in charge of the case, or Neil Bhoopalam as the prime witness of the case who later turns hostile; or Mohammed Zeeshan Ayyub who essays the role of Manish Bharadwaj, based on Manu Sharma. And the most remarable is the new comer Myra in the role of Jessica; she sensitively and skillfully fits in the character. The film boosts of a well balanced and well placed cast.

The music and the background score of the film plays a strong role in complementing the plot well. Songs are not something that you feel as being meaninglessly introduced. Every song well accompanies the emotion and sentiment of the plot. I feel the song 'dilli dilli', from this film, is a far better tribute to Delhi than the song 'yeh Delhi hai meri jaan', from the movie Delhi 6. The music composed by Amit Trivedi, is both sharp and edgy.

The dialogues of the film are sharp as well as straight forward, there is nothing flowery or over idealistic about them. Dialogues seem something as if a part of real slice of life.


A taste of film, its subject, characters, music, and dialogues can be experienced through this trailer of the film.

No One Killed Jessica (2011)

Director: Raj Kumar Gupta

Starring: Rani Mukerji, Vidya Balan

Producer: Ronnie Screwvala

Writer: Raj Kumar Gupta

Cinematographer: Anay Goswamy

Editor: Aarti Bajaj

Music Director: Amit Trivedi
Favorite Dialogue: "aggar ek goli aur ek crore mein chunna ho toh aap kya choose kareinge. Mujhe ek crore nahi chaiye, lekin mujhe ek goli bhi nahi chahiye...."; 
Best Song: Dilli Dilli...., Aale re....

Zookeeper: a cliché of all elements it boosts of; and predictable.

Zookeeper is a film with predictable story and flat characters. It is a movie about talking animals and a lovable yet totally loser slob, who is a caretaker at a city zoo (such an unpredictable profession I would say after the name of the film makes it more than clear). He takes relationship advice from talking animals and learns the ways of the wild to woo back his hot girlfriend who dumped him on the day he proposed her.

The movie begins with zookeeper Griffin Keyes, played by Kevin James, proposing his girlfriend with a romantic sunset setting but well just to get dumped then and there. Fast forward to 5 years ahead where Keyes is still working as a zookeeper. There we see him working with an attractive veterinarian and there are a lot of signals going around, but as luck would have (or lets say the predicable plot lines), re-enters the plastic girl who had dumped Keyes. Well Keyes is still like a love-sick puppy around her, and it is clear until and unless he woos her in any other way the last option would be to leave his job as a zookeeper and join his brother as a salesman.

So here come the animals to the rescue, the talking animals, who don’t wish to loose kind hearted zookeeper. The animals then take the task on themselves to help Keyes woo the lady love, with their ways of wild, in order to keep him from quitting his job as their care taker. What begins then on is a tale where Kevin James plays his best always....a lot of falling, a lot of stupidity and a lot of stooping as well.

Nearing the end, Keyes does leave the job at the zoo to become a salesman and uses his 'ways of the wild' training in actually succeeding at that. Well what happens in the end is too early for me to reveal, as the film has just released in India. And I don’t want to be a spoiler.

But yes it is actually true that film is even far more disappointing than its trailer. The trailer is the blatant cliché of a slapstick comedy movie and it shows that movie has all elements, which the movie actually does but the order is well not so coherent overall.

I do like Kevin James, and agree he has been stereotyped far too many no. of times as the good at heart yet loser in life kind of roles. Well the ultimate underdog for the romantic comedies. He falls yet again perfectly into the character of Keyes, you know it’s all so predictable.

For me the real talents of the film were those who were voicing the animals. Sylvester Stallone as the gusty lion; Cher is his lioness. Adam Sandler plays a chattering little monkey, Jon Favreau and Faizon Love are the bickering bears, Maya Rudolph voices a giraffe, and writer-director-producer Judd Apatow does an overeating elephant. And well the most prominent the lonely gorilla voiced by Nick Nolte.

I do like one bit in particular in the movie that is the part where Keyes takes out the gorilla for a night in town, where he pretends to be a man dressed as King Kong. This one is too much out right blatant humor, yet in the entire movie this is the only bit that made me laugh a bit.

The film has everything that is predictable and cliché. There are talking animals who teach the real lessons of life, there is a lovable soft underdog who is otherwise in no sense the Alpha male, and there is a hot attractive bitch who wishes he would change for her rather than for being himself.

The movie is directed by Frank Coraci, who has also directed movies such as Wedding Singer, Around the World in 80 Days and Click. I think after I knew the name of the director and his earlier credits my interest in watching Zookeeper increased further, after all he was donning the director’s hat after a hiatus of 5 years. I feel a bit sorry for both the director and the movie, because even a successful director of good comedies and five screenplay writers (yes the film has 5 writers) couldn’t salvage the film, and then I guess nothing could have.

Out of 5 I would rate the movie as a 1 n ½. All the marks go to Kevin James for once again essaying a role where there is abundance of falling and lowering of self respect; and the talent that lends its voice to the animals in the movie.

One last word to all western filmmakers of romantic comedies, can we please get a small break from these predictable stories that revolve around animals. Until and unless there is something truly different, I guess we will always know what the movie holds even by seeing its trailers.

Bad Teacher (2011): It is bad but fails to be good in that.

Bad Teacher is a Bad movie about a teacher who is Bad...... that is it. That's the whole plot and review.

Well yes that is pretty much what I felt, after I finished watching the movie and sitting down to write the review. That was the only line that flowed best on the page. But well allow me to dwell further.

Elizabeth Halsey, played by Cameron Diaz, is a Chicago middle school teacher at the John Adams Middle School who curses at her students, consumes lots of alcohol, smokes marijuana, and only shows movies while she sleeps through class.

When the movie starts she is shown quitting her teaching job so as to get married to a wealthy fool and enjoy a carefree life of luxury. But when in a movie, have you ever seen any ‘happily ever after' in the beginning. The wedding fails to materialize and Elizabeth is back at her old teaching job and teaching methods.

At the school Diaz meets Scott Delacorte, played by Justin Timberlake, a new substitute teacher who is also an heir to a multi-dollar watch empire. In him, she sees her old dreams of marrying rich and luxurious life begin to rekindle. But this time she is not alone. Competing with her at the school, in teaching and in love, is another teacher Amy Squirrel (Lucy Punch), who is as irritating for the staff as for the students.

What follows is an ugly battle of competition between the two teachers to gain the attention of the rich heir, who believes in simulated sex with clothes on as a way to search ones true mate.

The ugliness is further fueled by the rich prince charming's fantasy for big boobs, or so Elizabeth seems to believe is the only reason he overlooks her and chooses Ms. Squirrel. And so begins her journey to get money for breast implants and series of raunchy jokes and gags.

This is a movie about good v/s evil, but surprisingly I didn't find myself picking any side. For if evil is represented by Diaz and her drugging and movie screening ways of teaching; the good side is equally appalling by screechy, irritating Squirrel; whimpering Timberlake; and a lovesick underdog like the Basketball Coach, Russell Gettis (Jason Segel), who makes every possible attempt to make his feelings loud and clear for Elizabeth all to get his advances rejected.

I think it was the supporting cast that did the only good job in the film, while rest were just put to the place where they fitted the best. Diaz is used to act sexy and put an edge in all the raunchy jokes. Timberlake is used as a man piece for girls, but he is totally damp and a waste for any screen time whatsoever given to him in the film. Jason Segel’s act, as the underdog puppy eyed loser basketball coach, I would say is good casting as that clearly goes with his characters from his earlier films such as Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
And Ms irritating Squirrel is well cast as she irritates the crap out of u with her excessive goody good two shoes act and irritating dialogue delivery.

I think the only place in the plot or script where the film works a bit for me was the place when Diaz is fighting tooth n nail to get the money for her boob job. And esp. the part where she cons the state examiner to get the test papers from him, and how she claws her way out of d whole allegation later. I really enjoyed that part, as that was the only part that kept me engaged in watching the film.

This film is the classic case of good, bad and ugly. Nothing is good, every one is equally bad, and Timberlake acts ugly.

Other than that the film is pretty predictable as you always know that in the end anti- heroine will turn into a heroine. You know she will revise her old ways and the underdog love stuck puppy would win her with his goodness.

Out of 5 I would rate the movie as 1n1/2. All the marks, just for all d raunchy jokes and the only part of the plot that managed to make me laugh. What I expected was a shocking movie; I got that but not totally in a positive sense. I thought the film did have a promising concept and I did enjoy the brazen performance by Cameron Diaz, as she did manage to keep me engaged in the scenes where action was lacking. But still the overall after taste of the movie was as if it lacked not something but almost everything that I expected.

In the recent Teen Choice Movie Awards the movie did won quite a few accolades for itself, such as Choice Movie- Comedy, Choice Movie Actor- Comedy for Timberlake and Choice Movie Actress- Comedy for Diaz. I just agree with the last category for winning, but then ‘to each his own’. Nonetheless I would say my usual line that ‘do watch it once’ because no matter how good or bad a film is every audience member should make their own opinions.

Bad Teacher (2011)

Director: Jake Kasden

Starring: Cameron Diaz, Justin Timberlake, Jason Segal, Lucy Punch

Producer: Jimmy Miller, David Householter

Writer: Lee Eisenberg, Gene Stupnitsky

Cinematographer: Alar Kivilo

Editor: Tara Timpone

Running Time: 92 minutes

Favorite Scene: the car wash scene, and the whole episode where she seduces the state examiner and gets the tests and the whole cover up.....